You cant just blog the good

I didn't know how to title this post and it has taken me so long to write it
It has taken me almost six months to even process the pain of losing a friendship that meant so much to me 
I struggled with the idea of sharing such a personal story but my blog is my life and I don't want to only share the good
We all have days of rain along with the days of sunshine!

I have always strived to be a good friend and be available for my friends when they need me. I have never been perfect and I am sure I owe an apology for times when l have let them down

I realized when I had my surgery that  I have such sweet friends and family ! They called , dropped by with meals,or to vacuum, or just sent a text asking how I was. And all those outstretched arms meant the world to me! They were my lifeline and I said before I don't know how I would have gone through without their love and encouragement.
But  I never heard from my best friend
I got more texts from the guys at my work than I did my very best friend?  After a couple months she finally text me and said she had been busy and wanted me to call her

I couldn't....

I text her and told her I was just too hurt to reach out. She text me back "why"

She finally called and we hashed it out and I tried to explain my hurt reminding her when she had her surgery how I drove up to take her to lunch and called her almost every day to see how she was doing She apologized and said she had just been so busy...
I get that
I do
But inside I kept thinking If you are too busy for your friends
You are too busy
She has often gone underground and we have gone months without talking because her life gets so "crazy" and I always say its OK and we go on from there....

But this time it wasn't OK

When I needed that friendship more than any time in my life,  I had to figure out why I didn't have it. Where was my friend? Why didn't she even once call?   

I decided to have my heart break once by walking away then to stay and have it broken over and over again. I simply cant keep going back ! The last time we spoke she wanted my help with a project and she was going to call me with the decided time. I was going to put it all aside and start fresh again....She never called 
That was January...
This is May
She doesn't know about Beckham...She doesn't know about Steve's new job...
She doesn't know that I have cried  with missing her so much that I thought my heart would break

But I am getting better. I am learning to live without her as hard as it has been

But there are still days when I miss having a best friend!

I had a old mitt that was all broken in and wrinkly and was a part of my life for so long that it felt like part of my hand. It was always able to catch the balls of life. To think about breaking in a new mitt feels like too much work and it just wont ever be as comfortable. But I gotta do it because the game isn't over and there is much more life to play...
I have got to figure it out and I pray I will
There are no hard feelings, no un-forgiveness and I wish her and her sweet family all the best


And to you my friends who read my blog , If I ever make you feel like I am too busy to be the friend you need, please let me know
If you need a ride, a chat, a lunch out to share your heart
Please call me ....I am here for you
I will drop everything to be there
That's what friends are for

            

Mothers Day Blessings!

What a great week it has been ! I thought of my mom so often and I found another dime so I know she was thinking about me : )  I went to the new Nordstrom rack here in town and while I was there Steve called to tell me that a job he applied for and we had been praying would come through did. They had just called him and offered him the position. I teared up right then and there because I knew how much he wanted it and he was trying so hard not to get his hopes up. After hearing the good news I decided to get him a pair of work pants, and as I went to pay there on the register was a dime! Seriously what are the chances??
Not a penny, not a quarter but a dime....

Another sweet blessing this week was my visit with Chad ,Ashlyn, Travis and Beckham! Poppa Steve came down with me and he and the boys golfed while Ashlyn got her hair done and I held that baby for three straight hours of bliss! He is soooo sweet, and he smiles like crazy now!  
We had so much fun with him! When the boys finished we all met up for dinner at Sammy' s for my  favorite grilled chicken salad!   The kids gave me beautiful cards that of course I had to read later by myself because they are so heartfelt and tender that I get overcome with emotion!
Ashlyn and Trav got me the most beautiful framed pic of Beckham and some wonderful night creme I have wanted since I saw it on Dr Oz. { I will let you know if when all my wrinkles disappear!} And Chad wrote me the most heartfelt letter that I will cherish my entire life! He is taking me to lunch this week for my gift!   
I love lunch dates with my boys
I cherished every minute of my Mothers Day celebration and sharing it with the sweet new momma  for her first mothers day!

asleep on my chest

proud poppa

Poppas hands

I miss my mom so much but am so thankful for the promise of seeing her again. And in the meantime I will love being a  YaYa knowing she taught me everything I know about unconditional love and spoiling them rotten with kisses and time! My boys learned so much from her. Friday when I saw Chads truck he had a case of water in the seat. He told me he likes to keep them there so he can give them to the homeless people when he sees them...
Yep he's his YaYa's boy !!!  
I reminded him that my mom would always have McDonalds gift certificates to give them and he thought that was a great idea. Wont surprise me one bit if I see those in his truck next time. 
The boy has a heart of gold...
So for all my blessings this Momma says Thank You!!!  
And for my sweet hubby who models everyday what it is to be a GREAT dad and husband and made me the Mom I always dreamt of being    

Catchin up.....

Its been a while since I blogged and its always hard to catch up!
We had the BEST time with my brother and his family while they were here for a week
I ALWAYS cry like a baby when they leave and my house feels so much emptier. But we will all be headed to Nashville for a wedding in September!  We got to meet my nephews fiance Sam and she is darling. Fit right in and felt like part of the family right from the start 

We went to the wineries, had a picnic in Newport Beach,visited with family and friends and just enjoyed each others company.Aunt Mary came down with her photo box which was amazing!! She has so many candid shots of movie stars that she and my uncle Nick knew! The time flew by and I missed them the second they pulled out of the driveway!

After they left we had a fun party with the bunco girls with one of our founding friends who was visiting from Colorado .These girls have truly become like sisters to me and we always have so much fun when we are together! The hubbies came too and we laughed late into the night...

I  also attended a beautiful bridal shower for Ashlyns sister who will be getting married in July. It was such a lovely day and of course Ashlyn had so many sweet details and everything looked spectacular!  I love Lia so much and am so excited for her and Chris to start their lives together!

We have been pretty busy, we added in a quick get away with my hubby and my brother Kens family. Chloe and I laughed about EVERYTHING like usual. She is so good for my soul and I love spending time with her doing just about anything! Kenny and Lindsay too are the kind of friends you never tire of !


And of course this little guy!

He literally is a part of my every waking thought. I love spending time with Travis's little family and am so thankful that Ashlyn embraces us and we feel so welcome. Poppa Steve even stops by after work sometimes because he misses him so much . Steve kept telling me to smell his shirt when he came home because it smelt like Beckham { he is the sweetest poppa and is quite smitten as well }  I get to spend the day with him this Friday and it will be the highlight of my week I am sure
Wishing you all many joys this week and moments of bliss
God is so good and we have so much to be thankful for!! 

Princess Saras Birthday Party!

Princess Sara Nicole

There are no words to describe this most special day! It was so magical and a day we will always remember! Sara is my special needs niece who was created perfectly out of pure joy and love!! She has so much love and excitement for her family and all she has talked about was a princess birthday  party with her family and friends. My brother and sister in law planned it all out with such love and detail. A friend sewed her dress, and also a prince outfit for her brother to walk her in with. Sara wanted her daddy to announce her and she walked in with the biggest smile on her brothers arm ! There was not a dry eye seeing her absolute joy! We had a wonderful lunch and then we danced like crazy!! It was a most magical day for sure 

With her brother the prince

The whole gang at Wilson Creek Winery 

Cousins...

My family!! love  x 8

Pretty place cards

She wanted butterflies in memory of her YaYa my mom

Meeting Beckham

I kept reminding my heart to just breathe in the love and joy that was in that room  because I knew it was so rare and special. These kind of days don't happen very often and we all left there happier as though we had truly been sprinkled with pixie dust!

Just because...

I don't know where the time goes...
I have so much to blog about
Our wonderful Easter
My family coming from Tennessee tomorrow for Sara's big 30th birthday bash!
And the normal everyday bits of this sweet life

But I am oh so busy  getting ready for all this fun! 

So in the meantime ....

Can you believe he is my grandson........I melt

I think he is going to be a looker like his daddy....

And beautiful like his gorgeous momma

And sweet like his furry brother

Countin my blessins....

I woke up early this morning and ran 6 miles then stopped off at the Y for a spin class!
I feel great....


April fools 


I stayed in bed until 7:30 finishing up the book I started last month for book club "Molokai"
I'm so glad I stuck with this book although at times I found it labor some because it turned out to be such a rich story of strength and love. Ruth was such an amazing lady and the characters were weaved so perfectly and became very real when you read the story. Steve often looked over and saw tears running down my face while I was reading. Not the happiest story but one of the more memorable ones for sure! 


On Sundays I love to stop and think about all the blessings of my week and how much we have to be thankful for! 
One of my favorite quotes lately is 
"Never admire someones success , but admire their contentment" 
I certainly don't have much but I am truly content and have more than I ever dreamed I would.......
So for all the little moments.....I say Thank You 
Long talks on the phone with my boys
Hanging out all day Monday with Beckham
Seeing Ashlyn become such a sweet,patient mom
A text from Steve while I was at work that brought tears to my eyes
Bunco night fun with my sweet friends
The smell of bounce sheets
Neighbor kids who come by everyday to say Hi
And knowing my Greek family will be together next Sunday for Easter and then five more sleeps and Dave and his family will arrive! 
Now...................for the BIG NEWS!!! 


Our sweet nephew Kory got engaged yesterday! 

So our family is growing even bigger! They will be coming to California for Sara's 30th birthday bash in two weeks and we can't wait to meet her and welcome her to the family. She loves Disney so he planned the whole thing out at Disney World in Florida ! Both families were there and I could hear the excitement in Dave and Sandy's voice when they called to share that it all went off perfectly 

Sooo cute!

Life is sweet...

I wish you all a week filled with love and giggles!!  

And remember in all things.........Give Thanks

Sunday Thankfulness...Moments that made my heart happy

It has been a busy,fun week ! Nothing extraordinary but lots of smiles and so much to be thankful for!

*My husband cracks me up almost every single day! We laugh about so many stupid things in the course of a week, and I am so thankful for his humor and that he finds me funny?
This was a honest to God conversation in our kitchen this morning
Steve-Do we have any cinnamon? I hear it helps you lose fat"
Me -What are you going to do eat it plain? 
" No maybe put it on some toast"
Well we have cinnamon rolls do you want me to bake those? 
Sure that would be great      
nowonderwedontloseweight!
But it is those everyday silly moments with him that I smile and thank God for my perfect other half to make me whole!

*I also had the best day with my friend Abby! We went to see the Hunger Games! She said it was because of my recommendation that she read the books so she wanted us to see it together 
We liked it a lot! 
It seemed to bring the book to life in just the way I pictured it! They left some things out which is normal, but it sure left me wanting to see the next one! It is such a unique premise which is why I liked the book so much. I would give it 4 1/2 stars out of 5 . After the movie we went to lunch at CPK and chatted for hours. I love that I can be friends with my friends children who I have watched grow up since grade school
And now we talk like besties out for a afternoon, never minding our 25 year age difference!
I love you Abby and thank you for the fun afternoon  

*Saturday we celebrated our bunco buddy Kims 60th birthday! She invited all us girls to Ponte Winery for a wonderful lunch ! We sat out on the patio and had wine and wonderful conversations and the BEST DARN CAKE!  She is such a generous, kind hearted lady and I am so thankful to have had her friendship all these years!  I am hoping we are still all together when we celebrate our 80th! They are the friends who have become family .....  

Lastly~  Who wouldn't wake up happy every single day with this little guy is in your  life! 

He has brought so much joy to their family and to ours as well !
I seriously didn't know this kind of love was possible.....
It is like nothing else I have ever experienced 
Wishing you all a happy week, filled with love and giggles
And tiny little fingers that wrap around yours and melt your heart !

Chaddie

I have often asked for prayer for Chad because he is constantly off on some adventure
Costa Rica, Skiing in Mammoth { where he is now } or mountain climbing. He made it sound like he did a "little" climbing but because of Facebook I was able to see the pics.
Now you know why I ask for prayer.....

Yep that speck up there is Chad

Are any of these guys certified climbers?Nah

                          The kid knows no fear!

Maybe its best he kinda skims over the details , because I am wreck when I know what he is up to!
I also found some cute surf pics from Costa Rica on his page. This boy has such a passion for life and I enjoy seeing him live it fully!

So when you say your prayers...
Pray for Chad too!
For safety, caution, protection but mostly that he never loses his LOVE for life!
On  top of being so darn adventurous he's just the cutest,sweetest boy ever!
Last week he was with Beckham and he text me
" Thank you for caring for me when I was too young or asleep to remember"  
I melted....he is so thoughtful and always thinking about his momma
I don't know how I lucked out with such sweet, manly boys in my life! And I am thankful that Beckham will have such great role models!
But I'm already praying Beckham takes up chess and checkers for sport
YaYa can only handle so much 

Maternity Leave

I promise to be back soon and they wont all be posts about Beckham!
But for now I am busy with work, and visits with the new Carter family. I just got home from a couple days with the kids and I was in full  YaYa mode  { my family knows just what that means}
I did what YaYas do best....clean, make sure everyone has PLENTY to eat, and help  in every way possible!
But mostly I did a lot of this ...

I was able to go the Pediatrician with Ashlyn and Beckham and it was so fun to be there as he was weighed and checked  
He is just the sweetest little guy and I love every second with him in my arms
This weekend I am off to a birthday party, grocery shopping, church, laundry and getting my own house back in order 
But he will be in my every thought and dream

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend filled with love and joy!

So there's this boy...

And he has completely captivated my heart....
Our days have been filled with visits to the hospital and thankfully now to their home as Beckham came home on Monday.  He is hungry, happy and oh so darling
A few images from the last few days...

This one captures the deep love I have for  my daughter in law!

Papou & Beckhams hands

Proud Uncle Chad

Travis and Ashlyn are true parents at heart. They seem to be adjusting beautifully and adore their little guy . One of my favorite pics was of Travis holding Beckham. The second they unplugged all his tubes Travis took off his shirt and cuddled close skin to skin. Thankfully Ashlyns friend captured the sweet moment with her camera. I also love the one of Beckham staring straight into his mommas eyes. Ashlyn amazes me with her calm, patient demeanor realizing it will all just get easier. I was such a frantic first time mom and admire their calm so much.
These days are the sweetest and I am loving every text, picture, poop update and moment holding and helping in any way possible
I cherish my new role as YaYa  and Papou is quite smitten too!

Beckham Paul

We are smitten.......

We fell in love at first sight

And I will NEVER forget my son coming out of the room with tears of joy streaming down his face

Ashlyn is a rock star! No drugs and a fierce determination to stick to her birth plan

He is everything and more we could ever dream of  

It is beautiful seeing your baby with a baby....My heart is so full of joy and love it literally feels like it could burst


March First 12:56 pm 8 lbs 5 oz   19 1/2 inches long