Sunday, January 31, 2016

My sweet mom Gera

Crazy how much Ive been thinking about my momma lately !
She was so precious and such a "all in" YaYa
And the more I spend time with my  grand babies I have to admit I am totally becoming her !!
Their joy is my utmost concern and there is nothing I wouldn't cook, buy or do to make them happy. Last week the kids were here and Beckham wanted to sit in the living room chair with a portable DVD player and watch a movie . He would occasionally holler out " yaya can I have more bacon, can I have a cup of water and I couldn't rush fast enough to deliver his wishes !
I know they can become spoiled but since I'm not the mom I believe it is my job to completely smother them with love and affection
Just like my momma did 
We were talking about when the Travis Chad and Chloe all wanted something different for dinner so my mom drove to all three places so they would be happy.
She never said " no you kids decide on the same"  she just happily made them all happy !
And you know they still remember that ! She left a lasting memory of such unselfish LOVE and complete devotion to us all
Travis remembers when he ran the LA Marathon that he and a friend spent the night at her house before the race and she used every single pot and pan to cook them dinner and load them up on carbs and protein for their run. She was exhausted from it but so happy to wait on the boys

Her love for people is always on my mind. She LOVED so big and treated everyone like they were family. She would call me and ask if I had any of the kids old back packs because one of her homeless friends at the beach needed one. She took her leftovers down to Santa Monica beach where she walked at night to share with her "friends" there. So often I scolded her to be more careful, I think I even said "one day mom you are going to get knocked over the head by one of "those" people"  {shame on me} but she always gently reminded me that Jesus was with her and she never felt afraid .
She carried her little one dollar McDonald's gift certificates with her to give away because EVERYONE deserved a hot cup of coffee .
She was generous to a fault with her widows mite

But mostly I find myself praying to be more like her ! To have her heart for people and treat everyone like they matter. To have her faith that you can not out-give God so to freely give knowing He will take care of you .  When I saw my friend Jay with a new backpack last week I wondered who God used to bless him with that sweet gift and thought my mom would be smiling about that. And when I find myself throwing off fear or prejudice and loving people that I normally wouldn't, I feel her pleasure and know she is proud of the legacy she left behind

Friday, January 1, 2016


Its hard to believe how long I have neglected my blog...
With Instagram and Facebook they seem to tell the stories of my life so I often feel this space is redundant
But then I have a post in my heart that I cant seem to forget about and here I am deciding to write again
I shared a speech at my brother Paul's funeral and so did his boys and my brothers
And we all seemed to share almost the same thought...
That when you were with Paul you had his undivided attention
He was fully present
Rick Warren shared this quote ...
Attention is the greatest gift you can give someone, because it shows how much you value them "
Paul lived out that quote...
I was thinking of what my word for this year should be ,  I decided it will be


I am often a spazz, I get side tracked and even with dinner guests I am pulling things out of the oven , making sure things in place and only half listening .
I want to be better,do better
My desire and goal is the fully focus
To give my 100 % attention to who is with me in those moments,because at the end of our lives its those moments that will matter , its those moments with him that I remember and they made me feel so loved and value. They have left a lasting impact on who I am 
I think Paul would love that he has left that legacy for me to carry on

Check in on me in three months to see if I am holding true to my word,
Yep that's my mantra this year
And its the present he gave me this Christmas

present:  Existing or happening now; current:

a. Being at hand or in attendance:
b. Existing in something specified:
c. Now being considered; actually here or involved