Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I checked into crazy town!

This should have been the sign down the street from my hospital.
I literally felt like I checked into " One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest " I will never understand when you feel your absolute worst you are required to share a room with a complete stranger?  I could not get out of there fast enough and to be honest even lied about having a "movement" so they wouldn't keep me ! I am usually very compassionate and empathy is certainly one of my strong suits. But when you are in pain all bets are off!
Here are the highlights of my roommate!
She was at least 55 but spoke baby talk
She had 6 kids and the youngest was 15
She told me she was nocturnal and loved to stay up all night {how do you do this with kids?}
She was also hard of hearing? {more on that fib later}
She watched Pretty Woman volume 30 three times on her portable player and laughed every time??
She literally buzzed the nurse every 45 minutes for something
She wanted "pink" jello not orange, not lime, but PINK
Here I was schlepping my IV by myself because I didn't want to bother the nurses who work their butts off 
She watched Dora in the morning {also at volume 30}
She used the bathroom and not once came over to the sink to wash her hands?
And at least three times she was standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night waking me up to tell me she was having a panic attack. Trish and Jamie came by and were laughing because she has always teased me that I have "talk to me" written across my head. They can confirm I am NOT exaggerating  
By 4am I started crying! I asked the nurse PLEASE cant you make her turn the TV off?
No they cant
She also lied about having insurance and she told me her  son makes millions running a medical marijuana dispensary  in San Diego
That is where the hard of hearing came in! When they came to ask her about her insurance after a 8 day stay, suddenly she could only read lips?
Dave wanted me to tape her with my cell phone so you could get an idea what loony looks like but I couldn't...
What happened to quiet hospitals and patients having to go to bed? If there is ever a "next" time I am going to pony up the extra thousands for my own room!
In this case it would have been a bargain !


The fly-fisherman's wife said...

Oh Karen, I am so sorry. What a nightmare. In the hospital that I work in, everyone has their own room. I didn't realize what a blessing that was until reading this post. I hope you are feeling well, and that despite the roommate- everything else went okay.

Anonymous said...

So this sounds like you were on some pretty heavy duty pain medication because surely this was a hallucination. No wonder you were so anxious to get home and away from the hospital. Oh well, what's a hospital stay without a great story to go with it??

It also sounds like you've had some bumps along your road to recovery and I'm feeling sad about that. I hope things are starting to improve and that you'll be feeling so much better in no time.

Anonymous said...

SOOOOO sorry! Glad you are feeling better and maintaining that fantastic sense of humor! XOXOXO